Ciel barely kept himself from saying it aloud, and it startled him how close he'd come to admitting it. Not being able to breathe, feeling as if he might die, knowing that there's nothing Sebastian can do to help him, to keep him safe... it's terrifying.
Though he's not afraid to die, he's afraid of being beyond Sebastian's reach. Of dying pointlessly. Of not accomplishing what he needs to, because of some human weakness.
Ciel recognized the stance Sebastian held, but only because it was so familiar, and could make a guess at what he had behind his back. Oddly, it comforted him.]
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Ciel barely kept himself from saying it aloud, and it startled him how close he'd come to admitting it. Not being able to breathe, feeling as if he might die, knowing that there's nothing Sebastian can do to help him, to keep him safe... it's terrifying.
Though he's not afraid to die, he's afraid of being beyond Sebastian's reach. Of dying pointlessly. Of not accomplishing what he needs to, because of some human weakness.
Ciel recognized the stance Sebastian held, but only because it was so familiar, and could make a guess at what he had behind his back. Oddly, it comforted him.]
It's painful. But it will be controlled.